Tammy's Tidbits
Kitten Kure
Kitten Kure
In my last article I spoke about stress and kindness. While humans can be kind to one another, an animal brings it to a whole new level!
We all know the saying, they bring with them “unconditional love”. I don’t care if you are a dog or cat person, I happen to be both, or perhaps a unique animal lover - they do bring you the ultimate love!
And yet, there can be stress with such a loving relationship as well. I may be working backwards on this, but I wanted to take my experience as an example.
I recently lost my 18-year-old Ragdoll. A loss, to me, that hurt beyond words. During a time in my life, I honestly can say I have been most stressed over.
Porter, my beautiful Ragdoll, was given to me as a wedding present from my husband 18 years ago. Porter grew with us during those 18 years.
He was always by my side, in the office, listening to me bounce off my ideas for my next book or article. Never criticizing, always encouraging.
A bond like no other. When Porter was gone, the house became unbearably quiet. Even though I have my two crazy Frenchies, who love me like no other, it was the quiet times I missed most from my Porter.
So, even though I swore to myself I could never put myself through that unbearable pain of losing something so precious again, I began to realize it was something I needed to do for myself. Especially during this difficult time.
I went on a quest to find a replacement for that void Porter had left. An extremely stressful quest to find a Ragdoll similar to him. It was no easy task. Now before you wonder why I didn’t simply go and get a rescue, for there are so many deserving, loving, and beautiful rescues that need homes - I had my reasons.
Porter represented many things to me. The strongest was I always identified him with my marriage as well. Not only as a wedding present, but the stages and growth throughout our marriage coincided with Porter.
I craved desperately to replace Porter, for I wanted that constant reminder of our love, our marriage, our commitment once again. Especially at this time, during my husband’s serious illness.
Nothing can ever be replaced, of course, but it can bring comfort in a difficult time. So, as my search for a new Ragdoll began, I dared to become hopeful. Even excited, as I admired these beautiful kittens on the screen in front of me.
What you would think would be a comfort became a nightmare! I’m one who does research. It’s in my nature as a writer. I’m fully aware of the cruel idea of scams for kittens and puppies that are out there.
Rule number one, if it sounds too good to be true - it is! Easy to say, but when emotions get in the way - not always so easy to see. In my case, right off the bat, I was shocked at how expensive these cats had become!
Granted, Porter was obtained 18 years ago, but still! Especially since I wanted two. I’m a firm believer in having two for their comfort, companionship, grooming, play, etc. how in the world could I justify that type of cost with what we were already going through?
Again, a rescue would be the perfect solution but, in my mind, getting that Ragdoll was giving me hope - to have another 18 full healthy years with my husband. Silly, I know, but at this point I will take any hope.
So, I searched and searched. Doing my research, or so I thought, but I fell for not only one scam but two! Fortunately, no loss of money but a loss none the same.
For each time, I bonded over these little guys. Giving my darkest days a hope that they could bring light back into our dark lives. Naming them, planning for their arrival. Convincing the dogs: it would be a good thing to have baby brothers… lol.
Fortunately, even though scammers know how to play on your emotions, they did not completely succeed. Believe me, I felt stupid! Revealing to them my reasons for wanting these precious babies so badly.
Not only was I hurt, I became bitter! Truly, what horrible monsters are out in the world that prey on the vulnerable like this? With symbols of love and trust, no less? Predators in every sense of the word!
And I admit, I was vulnerable! Death of my cat, the fear for my husband and his illness, the guilt of finances. It all compounded. I was ready to give up.
Until I revealed my heartbreak on Facebook. Yes, crazy ole Facebook that most hate. Granted, I have plenty to fault with Facebook as well, but I also have a Facebook family I love. Who support me, encourage me, comfort me and look out for me.
It is how I found these two, Sam & Dean. When I had given up, embarrassed even to talk about my current situation, I felt it a need for others not to go through the pain I went through in an already difficult time. So, I posted my experience of the two scams on Facebook.
And through a friend of a friend, led me to a caring, knowledgeable, loving breeder. So, my very first suggestion in getting a pure bred, for reasons of your own, is by all means - try to go through someone you know or someone your friends know! It will save you a lot of heartache before you even start to look.
Once you have exhausted that avenue, and you are tempted to fall in love with that picture on the screen, let me give you some tips to surviving the scams that are out there.
First of all, that picture you fell in love with? Is it unique? A very simple test. Take a copy of that picture of the animal you are interested in and do a search on the internet to see if that picture is truly a one of a kind.
You’ll be surprised to see how many scammers use the same photo or sadly steal photos from others. Unfortunately, you will have to be your own detective. Research as much as you can before you commit.
Next, a simple run of the name of the site you found the animal on. Better Business Bureau has lists of known scammers, mine now included, to help you determine if it is a scam.
And yet, they have become masters at this game! They have been detected, so they up their game. But fear not, for you will always have the upper hand, as long as you can keep emotion out of it.
Try to not become too attached to that “picture” just yet. If you have exhausted searches about this future endeavor, the next big clue is how to purchase said animal?
NEVER use a cash app! I had contacted my credit card company and let them know I was concerned over possible scams on purchasing a pet. Would I be protected?
Yes! Your credit card company will protect you from fraud. If you show up at an airport in hopes of a new pet that never arrives, your money will at least still be safe! Sadly, heartache will still have to be overcome.
Same for PayPal. NEVER use ‘friends and family’ on PayPal to purchase a pet! You will not be protected!!! Only through regular PayPal! Scammers know this and will try to persuade you - they will play on your emotions!
So, big red flag if they will not accept a simple credit card. It’s a big purchase. Protect yourself! As hard as it may be - walk away, if they demand a cash app.
Another red flag, not allowing you to come to see the actual pet. Now some of you may wonder why would you not go see the animal first hand, anyway?
In my case, the one scam was 16 hours away. With my husband not feeling well, it was not an option for us to travel that far. However, I had never purchased an animal unseen. Let alone the idea of the stress of flying for the animal, I did not like. I know it can be done, but I wanted to avoid it if I could.
So, I decided to fly out to make sure my little guys would be as safe and as comfortable as I could provide them. When I was told no, not an option from these sellers, I saw the red flag.
Through creative research, I found that even though they were going to take a credit card, advertised I could pick them up directly, offered a ridiculously low shipping cost because “they do it all the time with a nanny and get great discounts” but when push came to shove, they would not let me pick up the boys in person.
That same night I said no to them and called them out. They took their website down. Crazy. Painful and enlightening. But it did lead me to these new members to our family, Sam & Dean. I figured in this apocalyptic world, I needed two brothers to rise up to the task of helping me.
Am I stressed introducing these two to a family guarded with trust and jealousy? Heck yes! But it’s a good stress. A perfect distraction in an imperfect world. The happy moments have already far succeeded the distant memory of bad ones.
Having a pet is hard, no doubt. We create a bond we want so desperately never to lose. What we have to remind ourselves is, our hearts are capable of keeping those bonds for eternity while having room to make new bonds.
Never feel guilty for allowing yourself to let a pet take you out of a dark place. By letting them help you shoulder the difficulties life throws at you.
Never feel guilty over the type of pet you choose. Others may try to make you feel guilty for your choice, but they do not know your reasons.
I have had many rescues in my life. Many bonds I would never trade. I am proud of my scarred heart. A pet is a personal choice and should be respected as such.
As we get older, the reality of life, in general, being too short is a very harsh reality. But we do have tools to survive that reality. Through our friends, our families and especially our beloved pets, who truly know our darkest fears.
Let them bring you the light you may need.
We all know the saying, they bring with them “unconditional love”. I don’t care if you are a dog or cat person, I happen to be both, or perhaps a unique animal lover - they do bring you the ultimate love!
And yet, there can be stress with such a loving relationship as well. I may be working backwards on this, but I wanted to take my experience as an example.
I recently lost my 18-year-old Ragdoll. A loss, to me, that hurt beyond words. During a time in my life, I honestly can say I have been most stressed over.
Porter, my beautiful Ragdoll, was given to me as a wedding present from my husband 18 years ago. Porter grew with us during those 18 years.
He was always by my side, in the office, listening to me bounce off my ideas for my next book or article. Never criticizing, always encouraging.
A bond like no other. When Porter was gone, the house became unbearably quiet. Even though I have my two crazy Frenchies, who love me like no other, it was the quiet times I missed most from my Porter.
So, even though I swore to myself I could never put myself through that unbearable pain of losing something so precious again, I began to realize it was something I needed to do for myself. Especially during this difficult time.
I went on a quest to find a replacement for that void Porter had left. An extremely stressful quest to find a Ragdoll similar to him. It was no easy task. Now before you wonder why I didn’t simply go and get a rescue, for there are so many deserving, loving, and beautiful rescues that need homes - I had my reasons.
Porter represented many things to me. The strongest was I always identified him with my marriage as well. Not only as a wedding present, but the stages and growth throughout our marriage coincided with Porter.
I craved desperately to replace Porter, for I wanted that constant reminder of our love, our marriage, our commitment once again. Especially at this time, during my husband’s serious illness.
Nothing can ever be replaced, of course, but it can bring comfort in a difficult time. So, as my search for a new Ragdoll began, I dared to become hopeful. Even excited, as I admired these beautiful kittens on the screen in front of me.
What you would think would be a comfort became a nightmare! I’m one who does research. It’s in my nature as a writer. I’m fully aware of the cruel idea of scams for kittens and puppies that are out there.
Rule number one, if it sounds too good to be true - it is! Easy to say, but when emotions get in the way - not always so easy to see. In my case, right off the bat, I was shocked at how expensive these cats had become!
Granted, Porter was obtained 18 years ago, but still! Especially since I wanted two. I’m a firm believer in having two for their comfort, companionship, grooming, play, etc. how in the world could I justify that type of cost with what we were already going through?
Again, a rescue would be the perfect solution but, in my mind, getting that Ragdoll was giving me hope - to have another 18 full healthy years with my husband. Silly, I know, but at this point I will take any hope.
So, I searched and searched. Doing my research, or so I thought, but I fell for not only one scam but two! Fortunately, no loss of money but a loss none the same.
For each time, I bonded over these little guys. Giving my darkest days a hope that they could bring light back into our dark lives. Naming them, planning for their arrival. Convincing the dogs: it would be a good thing to have baby brothers… lol.
Fortunately, even though scammers know how to play on your emotions, they did not completely succeed. Believe me, I felt stupid! Revealing to them my reasons for wanting these precious babies so badly.
Not only was I hurt, I became bitter! Truly, what horrible monsters are out in the world that prey on the vulnerable like this? With symbols of love and trust, no less? Predators in every sense of the word!
And I admit, I was vulnerable! Death of my cat, the fear for my husband and his illness, the guilt of finances. It all compounded. I was ready to give up.
Until I revealed my heartbreak on Facebook. Yes, crazy ole Facebook that most hate. Granted, I have plenty to fault with Facebook as well, but I also have a Facebook family I love. Who support me, encourage me, comfort me and look out for me.
It is how I found these two, Sam & Dean. When I had given up, embarrassed even to talk about my current situation, I felt it a need for others not to go through the pain I went through in an already difficult time. So, I posted my experience of the two scams on Facebook.
And through a friend of a friend, led me to a caring, knowledgeable, loving breeder. So, my very first suggestion in getting a pure bred, for reasons of your own, is by all means - try to go through someone you know or someone your friends know! It will save you a lot of heartache before you even start to look.
Once you have exhausted that avenue, and you are tempted to fall in love with that picture on the screen, let me give you some tips to surviving the scams that are out there.
First of all, that picture you fell in love with? Is it unique? A very simple test. Take a copy of that picture of the animal you are interested in and do a search on the internet to see if that picture is truly a one of a kind.
You’ll be surprised to see how many scammers use the same photo or sadly steal photos from others. Unfortunately, you will have to be your own detective. Research as much as you can before you commit.
Next, a simple run of the name of the site you found the animal on. Better Business Bureau has lists of known scammers, mine now included, to help you determine if it is a scam.
And yet, they have become masters at this game! They have been detected, so they up their game. But fear not, for you will always have the upper hand, as long as you can keep emotion out of it.
Try to not become too attached to that “picture” just yet. If you have exhausted searches about this future endeavor, the next big clue is how to purchase said animal?
NEVER use a cash app! I had contacted my credit card company and let them know I was concerned over possible scams on purchasing a pet. Would I be protected?
Yes! Your credit card company will protect you from fraud. If you show up at an airport in hopes of a new pet that never arrives, your money will at least still be safe! Sadly, heartache will still have to be overcome.
Same for PayPal. NEVER use ‘friends and family’ on PayPal to purchase a pet! You will not be protected!!! Only through regular PayPal! Scammers know this and will try to persuade you - they will play on your emotions!
So, big red flag if they will not accept a simple credit card. It’s a big purchase. Protect yourself! As hard as it may be - walk away, if they demand a cash app.
Another red flag, not allowing you to come to see the actual pet. Now some of you may wonder why would you not go see the animal first hand, anyway?
In my case, the one scam was 16 hours away. With my husband not feeling well, it was not an option for us to travel that far. However, I had never purchased an animal unseen. Let alone the idea of the stress of flying for the animal, I did not like. I know it can be done, but I wanted to avoid it if I could.
So, I decided to fly out to make sure my little guys would be as safe and as comfortable as I could provide them. When I was told no, not an option from these sellers, I saw the red flag.
Through creative research, I found that even though they were going to take a credit card, advertised I could pick them up directly, offered a ridiculously low shipping cost because “they do it all the time with a nanny and get great discounts” but when push came to shove, they would not let me pick up the boys in person.
That same night I said no to them and called them out. They took their website down. Crazy. Painful and enlightening. But it did lead me to these new members to our family, Sam & Dean. I figured in this apocalyptic world, I needed two brothers to rise up to the task of helping me.
Am I stressed introducing these two to a family guarded with trust and jealousy? Heck yes! But it’s a good stress. A perfect distraction in an imperfect world. The happy moments have already far succeeded the distant memory of bad ones.
Having a pet is hard, no doubt. We create a bond we want so desperately never to lose. What we have to remind ourselves is, our hearts are capable of keeping those bonds for eternity while having room to make new bonds.
Never feel guilty for allowing yourself to let a pet take you out of a dark place. By letting them help you shoulder the difficulties life throws at you.
Never feel guilty over the type of pet you choose. Others may try to make you feel guilty for your choice, but they do not know your reasons.
I have had many rescues in my life. Many bonds I would never trade. I am proud of my scarred heart. A pet is a personal choice and should be respected as such.
As we get older, the reality of life, in general, being too short is a very harsh reality. But we do have tools to survive that reality. Through our friends, our families and especially our beloved pets, who truly know our darkest fears.
Let them bring you the light you may need.